A friend of mine’s son was born with a heart defect. It was a life threatening situation that required an operation on his heart but the doctors said they couldn’t do it until the boy’s body was close to maturity. He would have to endure about 15 years of touch and go; had he experienced the stresses that are part of many childhoods, he could have died. When you look at what my friend had to do to keep his son happy and relatively stress free, you get an idea of what kids go through in life, why they might be tempted to start drinking or taking drugs, and what situations might eventually lead to the need for substance abuse treatment. Here’s a brief summary:

1. He kept in constant, daily communication with his son to find out exactly how school was going. He reviewed what he studied every day, made sure he understood it, could use it in a practical sense, and wasn’t getting hung up on things he didn’t quite get. Many kids don’t understand everything they learn in school and often don’t even realize it. But they become unable to do the work as well as they are inherently capable of, start to dislike school, and every day can become a grind where they feel they’re accomplishing nothing and don’t have much of a future ahead of them. This lowers self-esteem and can lead to substance abuse.
2. He also made sure he knew who his son was meeting, what they were like, and so on – and this included everyone; teachers, students, other connections. Like it or not, there are people out there who don’t have your best interests at heart. Sometimes they can be very misleading – you think they’re your best friend but your life has changed for the worse since you met them – and sometimes they are just out and out bullies. Either way, it can be stressful. My friend made sure his son understood how to recognize these types of people, why they were dangerous, and how to deal with them. When necessary, my friend stepped in. My friend didn’t want to fight his son’s battles for him – but their bigger life and death battle took priority.
3. The boy was brilliant – and very interested in just about everything. At eight years old, he explained to me how rockets work. His dad made sure he went to schools that had the personnel and facilities to teach his son what he was interested in and keep him challenged, but without pressure. Doing this, and the first two steps, also meant that my friend was very involved in his son’s school, with his teachers, and so on.
4. He made sure family life was happy. He and his wife were united in their efforts with their son, and they made sure their own relationship was clean and loving and they were all in good communication. They didn’t impose their problems on their son, and they discussed things rationally and calmly.

When I personally look at what my friend did for his son, it occurs to me that this should be normal – this should be the life of every child. Happy, healthy, not worried about things, able to pursue things he’s interested in, and know he’s progressing towards a satisfying future in which he can accomplish something.So few kids have that, it’s not surprising that many of them wind up experimenting with alcohol and drugs at a young age and, later in life, need substance abuse treatment.Along with teaching your kids about the dangers of drugs and alcohol, do what you can to help your kids create a happy and fulfilling life. If they’ve already crossed the substance abuse line, get them into drug treatment and, after that, do what you can to help them create the life they didn’t have before.And, by the way, my friend’s son did live to have the operation. He is now doing exceptionally well in life. He’s even able to run marathons and pursue the physical activities he never could do when he was younger.

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I was in a pet store the other day and asked the clerk (he could be the owner, he’s been there every time I’ve gone in there for the last four years) if Catnip is a drug – would it get my cat high, like marijuana?  He said “Yes, but it won’t hurt him, just like marijuana. It doesn’t hurt anyone.” I jokingly asked him if my cat will want to move on to other drugs once he tries catnip and will my cat eventually need drug rehab.

By then it was obvious we were no longer discussing catnip. He replied that marijuana is not a gateway drug – that whether or not someone goes on to take other drugs once they’ve smoked marijuana depends on the individual, not the drug.

I agreed – duh, I don’t know of one drug that has an inherent chemical property of making the person want a different drug. But I also told him that in all the years I took drugs I’d never once met anyone who only smoked grass. (Not to mention the number of people who wind up in a drug rehab center who’ve taken meth, cocaine, LSD, heroin, and so on, whose first drug experience was with marijuana.)

He informed me that I had now met such a person – him.

Okay. So, I’ve now met one person.

Also – every time I talk about marijuana as a gateway drug I get several comments telling me what an idiot I am. So, there’s a few more.

(For some reason, those responses are always rude and semi-literate. No one ever quotes or lists studies or offers any statistical evidence that people who smoke marijuana don’t usually go onto other drugs; they just quite simply tell me, in no uncertain terms, that I’m an idiot. The responses are akin to “Oh, yeah! So’s your mother, you ****ing ***hole!” Well, when you put it that way … that’s certainly enough to convince me! I don’t know why the scientific community hasn’t taken that into account.)

Nevertheless, the guy in the pet store did give me some insight into why people think marijuana is not a gateway drug. Because drugs don’t cause people to take drugs, people do. Just like guns don’t kill people, people kill people.

It is true? Sure. But, if you put a loaded gun in the hands of a very angry, frightened guy who feels he needs to do something drastic about his emotional state, there’s more chance he’ll use the gun when it’s already in his hand than if he had to wait until the next day, get a gun license, go to the gun store, decide what kind of gun he’d like, figure out if he wants a case for it and, if so, what kind, etc. etc. etc.

Likewise, there’s more chance that someone who’s disillusioned, worried, fearful, unsure of themselves, unhappy, confused, or, apparently, just bored, will take drugs other than marijuana if they’re already high on marijuana (or have used it before without negative affects) and someone is right in front of them offering them something else.

In fact, that can be said of any drug. No matter what drugs a person has taken, there’s more chance that they’ll take a different drug than if they had never taken drugs at all.

So, all drugs are gateway drugs – taking any drug increases the possibility that other drugs will be taken.

If you know someone taking any drug, it’s best to get them into drug treatment before they take things further.

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