An interesting commentary article from the Phillipines talks about enablers – people who somehow support the bad habits of their friends and family. Gamblers who are loaned or given money, and drug abusers, and dealers, whose parents and family members turn a blind eye instead of getting them into an addiction treatment center where they can get help.

One of the problems mentioned in the article, which leads to ‘enabling,’ is trying to avoid conflict. I would say that’s a major problem – especially within a family.

When someone tries to talk to their husband, wife or kid about their drug or alcohol problem, there’s a good chance they’re going to meet with hostility. The addict, or alcoholic, will throw everything you’ve ever done wrong in your face, or will be beligerant and angry, will storm out of the house or go into another room and slam the door, and so on.

In other words, they attack the person who’s trying to help them and make the situation so uncomfortable the person either backs down or gets so embroiled in the argument themselves they can no longer do what they’d set out to do.

How can you avoid this? First, don’t try to speak with the person when they’re currently on drugs or drinking. When they’re sober they’re more likely to agree they have a problem. Second, try not to get upset when they do so you don’t give them anything to fight with. Generally, it takes two to argue.

Third, and most important, be ready to take them to an addiction treatment center right then and there. Have it set up beforehand so as soon as you get the person to admit they have a problem, you can put them in the car, on a plane, whatever it takes, to get them into treatment before they change their mind.

If you can’t do this, get help from an interventionist. They can help you see the whole thing through to the end. In fact, most interventions aren’t what you would expect. A good interventionist can get the job done without a lot of drama.

All the reasons you have wanted a loved one to stop drinking or taking drugs, all the fears you’ve had about it, are a reality. If you haven’t yet experienced the worst of it, ask anyone who has. And then get help through a drug addiction treatment center.

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